In Your Own Words

Archive

This section is a library of poems, art and reflections that has been on our site for an extended amount of time. This archive will allow the main section to be continually updated with your works.

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A Beautiful Sentiment
Alone
Because of the Pain
Closing Time
Determined
Flashback
Hope
I Am Worthless
I Never Knew
I’m Hurting Inside
In Quiet Lament

In the Hollows
Letting Go
Memory
Not To Struggle Alone
Peace in Search
Please Help Me!
Still In Tears
The Man I Never Knew
Time To Return
Tranquility Taken From Thee
Victim

I Never Knew Why did they wait until I was an adult to be told, now, I feel so small again, like I'm just seven years old. My Dad can't fix it this time, neither can my mum, there's no one else here to save me, I'm the only one. Be strong be tough they say, I say they just don't know, what it's like to be in a place, you didn't want to go. Now I want to run away, but don't have the legs to take me, I'm using all the strength I have, to not let this thing break me. Protect yourself and those you love, from everything under the sun, listen every time they turn to you, and they'll never have to run. – CJ –		Time To Return For years I got too high to cry I did not care to live but die. I never felt safe again, the arms of darkness pulled me in. My trust was shattered, my pain was strong and nothing matters when you're too far-gone. I believed in safety, I believed in man, but no one saves you when someone can. I cried in vain, I hid my pain. felt no emotion, but only shame. I searched for loneliness, my only friend so, so alone, I longed for the end. Until I found you, "Time To Return" – Susanna –

Please Help Me! Run and hide Run and hide Your name is being called! I sit and scream I'm screaming I'm screaming Or is it an echo in my head? The heaviness won't detach The days before are covered with fog Don't let me fall, set me free I'm urging you please help me! The water is deep I cannot swim I have no faith without him I'm dyeing or so it feels. Hold me back in spite of it all I cannot walk, only crawl. Take it away and place it upon a rack Shatter it with a ball Take it away keep it all I have no need for it Take it out and place it upon a wall Shoot it with arrows or not at all Take it away keep it all I have no need for it. Don't let me die, don't let me fall, set me free I'm urging you, please HELP ME! – Victory-fire –		Still In Tears All through life Pain has been a plague Always present Never to leave my side. Time and again my innocence has been taken The pain is still so vivid An angel dropped from the sky And she offered unconditional support. She stood over the pain Protecting against it Working through it Still the pain is very much there. And it is time to move on To come to an end The support The help It comes to a halt Happy to be better then I was. Sad that a relationship has to end Through the doors do I walk Not to look back But to look forward. I will always have the memories The words of wisdom The silent protection I will never forget... As I reflect, Still in tears. – Eclipse –

Alone Alone in the dark and alone is where I stand, the fears and the nightmares in the palm of my hand. Refuse to look on top the future when you live in the past, reality is a nightmare, you feel like an outcast. Smiles and laughter are rarely seen, happiness and security are only found in good dreams. The pain and anger take over your thoughts, comfort through alcohol and drugs are all that can be sought. They take over your life but don't help matters at all, you climb up a dangerous ladder inevitably fall. – Ashley –		I’m Hurting Inside I’m hurting inside because of what you did. I’m hurting inside because of how you make me feel. I’m hurting inside Because of you. – Dinah –

In the Hollows In the hollows of my life I saw darkness In the hollows of my life I saw pain In the hollows of my life I saw anger And I feared I'd never see light again So I parted the clouds and I saw sunshine By climbing top my mountain so high And when I turned to look down below me There I saw the hollows of my life But wih the sunshine and hope there to guide me And with the strength and the peace all around I can embrace the life that lies before me For the hollows have become my ground And on that ground I built a life of beauty While I hold myself and nurture through the pain I then release and dispel the anger And I can see the light again – Noukwie –		Memory Memory isn't happy thoughts, Or your mind thinking back. Memory creeps up behind you, And makes you face the facts. You do not see memory. It is something you don't choose. You don't remember forever. Yet it's something you can't lose. Memory is a sad word. It cuts you like a knife. And brings back all the horrible things. In your old, forgotten life. Memory cannot be killed, Or trapped in a steal cage. It will haunt and hunt you forever. And bring out all your rage. The rage takes over the happy thoughts, And becomes it's very own sin. Compared to joy it's ten to one, And you will never win. – K –

A Beautiful Sentiment There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one that has been opened for us. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying – Ann –		Because of the Pain I can't stand to look at your face, But it's stuck in my mind and making me blind. When I think of you my heart starts to race, Because of the fear you have left behind. I can't eat, sleep, of even stand on my feet, Because the pain is making me weak. You took it all away from me, Just so you could have the moment of height. You made me feel like I was wee, When you took away all my might. I have no more control, will or want, Because the pain is making me gaunt. Why couldn't you just stop, When I was screaming and crying, Why couldn't you just leave, instead of climbing on top, Cause in that moment of fear I just felt like dying. I lost my laugher, my smile and my inner-child, Because the pain is making me go wild. Was it worth it in the end? Your few minutes you won? For a life of offend, You have brought on. I will not let you have glory, take my power, or feel triumphant Because the pain is making me proficient. You thought you were victorious, And got away with a good night. But don't you worry I will make you notorious, Because you picked the wrong girl to fight, I will win, learn and advance from this situation, Because the pain is giving me determination. – Anon –

Not To Struggle Alone When the truth is hard to face, One of horror and distaste, A wall is built so as to block the fear, And so no one will see the fallen tear. A hidden strength attempts to fight, To pretend that the issue is out of sight, However, the pain and guilt climb ahead and will prevail, For attempts to push aside eventually fail. The past must be challenged in order to survive, For peace of mind I must strive, But the heart begins to fall as I attempt to stand tall. So alone and unseen, Yet for comfort and vigour I dream, To overcome the pressure of what has happened, As my personality has significantly saddened. For your love and support you have provided, I have decided, That I need to grow and to be strong, As I can no longer cry all night long. For everything, I thank-you . . . – Meg –		Peace in Search I'm done fighting, I give up the damage is becoming clear slowly as the fog lifts, Fatigue has replaced rage and confusion calls upon truth right now; If he could be identified by me for certain would it make a difference? I doubt that names and faces less remote have given solace in place of shame, I doubt, a lot: My need for justice is oblivious to his reasons for wronging me, My focus is on healing- my future; Grieving ensconced in lucidity, deconstructing defences, and honing skills of boundry; An all encompassing transformation underway- the peace I seek depends on his inability to recognize me; Breaking the chain of prisoner and captor--is truly being free. – Ariel –

Hope Sitting here waiting for the day to come, where I don't always have to feel so numb. Sitting here trying to find some ray of light, but still constantly sitting in the darkness of night. Sitting here waiting for the clouds to part, waiting for a sign to make a fresh new start. As I sit here and hold on to a little bit of hope, I try to find the best way to cope. If the saying "good things come to those who wait" is true, then I will wait for that gate to open and then I will fly through. – Shanna Rose –		Closing Time 10 minutes, until I lock the door no one left, so eager to leave. Facing dog food, part of the job. Then I hear the sound of the door. Walking towards me - smiling, I ask how he is. Good he replies as he grips my throat. Struggling and screaming I try to escape. A toy to this man who has no feelings, trapped in his grip so helpless and alone My screams travel out the front door, a customer runs to where I am as the man who has done this runs. Scared and violated on the floor I lay. – J –

In Quiet Lament Good to see you! You look great today! How are you doing? I'm fine. Quiet cries . . . Just can't believe what happened! You didn't really get hurt, did you? You know it could have been so much worse! I'm fine. Quiet cries . . . How were you first approached by him? Surely you knew that was wrong! Why didn't you try to run away? Quiet cries . . . How many times did this happen? He wouldn't have done this without your consent! Why did you wait so long to tell someone? Quiet cries . . . What were you thinking? Were you in love with him? Why didn't you try to stop him? Quiet cries . . . It's a shame he has to go to prison for this. He's done so much good in his life! Just can't believe what happened! Quiet cries . . . If only you . . . Quiet . . . – A Survivor –		Tranquility Taken From Thee No longer does that place exist, Soft and mild where I feel bliss. Silently I close my eyes Searching, Seeking, But only to hide From my own thoughts, and memories of what the shadows did to me. Hidden underneath the blaze of what you see Is the shadow forever within me? Private places that are my own Deliberately barred, discarded, exposed. The solid substance I had once been Crumbled quietly as I trembled within. Neatly defied and tossed aside Lost, Lonely, Liquefied. Covered with shadows is my private place Shivering softly lost in space. Each day I prod into the light, Pouncing from the shadow's fright Pretending everything is all right. Remembering hope is forever in sight. Believing everything will be all right. I cannot, No. I will not let the shadows dim my life. – Jaymie –

The Man I Never Knew The man I never knew might have taken what he thought was good, but in my eyes he took nothing because there is so much more of me he left behind - a better me. There is one thing and one thing only that I thank the man I never knew for and that is "He Let Me Live". And live I will, each and every day, to see my children and my grandchildren grow up, and to love all my loved ones. One last message to the man I never knew: I'm Still Here! – Signed, – Your Daughter, Sister, Mother, Grandmother, Last but not least, A Survivor Still Struggling.		Letting Go I let go of the shame you filled in me and embraced my pride! I let go of the self-hatred you made me feel and embraced self-love, self-respect and self-confidence! I let go of the shame you filled in me and embrace my courage and strength! I let go of the fear you create in me and embrace my joy! I let go of you, the dark place in my heart and in my soul, where you have lived, and embraced myself - all the beautiful and wonderful parts of me. I let go of the darkness and embrace my light! And I am free! – Pat –

I Am Worthless I am worthless because of you. You hurt me so much that I feel I can’t live anymore. But tonight I am telling myself while I’m writing these poems that I am worth it and I am going to move on. – Dinah –		Determined No longer does that place exist, I am determined to move on, let go, live my life, and respect myself. I am DETERMINED to do these things. – Dinah –

Flashback No longer does that place exist, It’s been 10 years now since my life was changed forever. Since the night you took my strength. Now it’s time I take it back, to do something positive. Now it’s time to move on and let it go, now its time for my life to start fresh. – Dinah –		Victim No longer does that place exist, Why must I be the one to suffer? I don't want your pity Your apologetic stares I want my power My strength My innocence But yet it stolen from me I needed protection I needed not to be hurt To be a child I needed understanding But yet I continued to suffer I felt it my fault I was so strong Not a victim Until I was. – Jc 2021 –